The Golden Goose

Once upon a time, three young brothers lived with their parents in a modest farmhouse. The youngest was known as “Simpleton”, and everyone looked down on him, made fun of him and always left him out.
One day, the eldest son went into the forest to cut wood, taking a fine egg cake and a bottle of wine his mother had prepared for him.
When he reached the forest, he met a little grey-haired man, who wished him good morning and said:
“Please, give me a piece of your cake and let me have a sip of your wine. I’m very hungry and very thirsty.”
But the son replied:
“If I give you my cake and my wine, I’ll have nothing left. Clear off!”
And leaving the little old man standing there, he walked away.
He began chopping down a tree, but before long, his axe slipped and he cut his arm.
So he went home to have it bandaged.
The second son went into the forest to finish the job, and his mother gave him an egg cake and a bottle of wine too.
He also met the little grey-haired man, who asked him for the same things to ease his hunger and thirst. But the second son said, quite reasonably:
“Whatever I give you, I’ll have to go without. Clear off!”
He left the little old man there and walked away.
After a couple of blows with the axe, he cut his leg and struggled home.
Then Simpleton said:
“Father, let me go and cut the wood.”
“Your brothers have hurt themselves. Leave it alone. You know nothing about it.”
“Please!”
“Go on, then... after all, a few knocks will teach you.”
His mother gave him a cake made with water and baked in the ashes, and a bottle of sour beer.
When he reached the forest, he met the little grey-haired man, who greeted him and said:
“Give me a piece of your cake and a sip from your bottle. I’m very hungry and very thirsty.”
“I only have ash cake and sour beer, but if that suits you, let’s sit down and eat.”
They sat down, and when Simpleton took out his ash cake, it turned out to be a fine egg cake, while the sour beer became good wine. So they ate and drank.
“You have a kind heart and gladly share what you have, so I shall bring you good fortune. There’s an old tree over there. Cut it down, and you’ll find something among its roots.”
Simpleton went over and cut down the tree.
Then, among the roots, he saw a goose whose feathers were pure gold.
He lifted it out, took it with him and went to an inn for the night.
The innkeeper had three daughters, and as soon as they saw the pure gold feathers, their eyes lit up.
“As soon as I get the chance, I’ll pluck a feather.”
The eldest thought.
And when Simpleton stepped out for a moment, the girl grabbed the goose by one wing... but her hand stuck fast.
“What...?”
“Hey! I can’t let go!”
Then the second sister came in, her eyes fixed on the feathers.
“Let’s see... let me have a look...”
And the moment she touched her sister...
“Oh! Me too!”
The youngest came over to see what was happening.
“Don’t you dare!”
“Stay back!”
“Why? If you two can be there, so can I.”
And as soon as she touched her sister...
“Ah...! Why didn’t you warn me?”
All three spent the night there, stuck to the goose, pulling, pushing and muttering under their breath.
The next morning, Simpleton tucked the goose in his arms and strolled off without a care, never looking back, singing a little tune.
The three girls had to follow, stuck fast, taking hurried little steps and trying to keep up with Simpleton’s sudden movements.
“Wait!”
“Shh...! I don’t think he’s noticed yet!”
“This is disgraceful...!”
He would just start walking...
And stop again.
“Ow!”
He peered at the horizon...
And suddenly set off once more.
“Ouch!”
They went on like this for quite a while, Simpleton in front and the sisters tugging at one another, until they met the priest out in the fields. At the sight of that line, he frowned.
“What a disgrace!”
“How can you chase a young man across the fields like this? It’s simply indecent!”
And he took the youngest by the hand to pull her away.
“Father, don’t...!”
But the moment the priest touched her...
“Oh! What... what sort of...?”
The three girls looked at him.
“That makes four.”
“Welcome!”
Before long, the sexton appeared and saw the priest following the girls, unable to pull free. His eyes opened wide.
“Father! Where are you going? Don’t forget we have a christening today!”
He ran towards him and soon joined that strange procession.
Then they saw two farmers coming: one with a hoe and the other with a leather wineskin.
“Please! Come and free us!”
“Free you? What do you mean, free you...?”
They touched the sexton and...
“Nooo!”
“Nooo!”
“Nooo!”
“Nooo!”
“Well...! How am I supposed to open my wineskin now?”
And so, with no way out, there were now seven of them walking behind Simpleton and the golden goose.
Suddenly, he turned round and saw that strange little procession.
“Wait!”
“Where did you all come from?”
“What curious people! Oh well, if they want to follow me, let them. It’s a free country!”
“Come on, then.”
“On we go.”
They reached a city ruled by a king whose daughter was so serious that no one could make her laugh. So he had issued a decree:
“Whoever makes her laugh shall marry her.”
When Simpleton heard this, he went to see the princess with his goose and the whole procession stuck behind him.
“Where are we going?”
“Shh! Don’t ask questions. Just follow Simpleton.”
“It seems we’re going to the royal palace.”
Off they went, and Simpleton came striding briskly into view.
He stopped dead.
“I’m falling!”
He made a deep bow.
His companions clumsily copied his movements until they all fell to the ground.
“Ow!”
Simpleton asked to marry her. But the king did not like the thought of this future son-in-law, so he said Simpleton must first bring him a man who could drink an entire cellarful of wine.
“This is outrageous. The king ought to keep his word.”
“Simpleton has won the princess’s hand.”
“I could help with the wine, you know. Just saying...”
Simpleton thought of the little grey-haired man in the forest, who might be able to help him.
“To the forest!”
“To the forest!”
“To the forest!”
“To the forest!”
“To the forest!”
Right where he had cut down the tree, he saw a man sitting with a terribly sad face. Simpleton asked what was troubling him so much.
“I have a terrible thirst, and I can’t quench it. I can’t bear cold water. I’ve emptied a barrel of wine, but that’s like a drop on a red-hot stone.”
“I can help you. Come with me, and you’ll have more than enough.”
He took him to the king’s cellar, and the man drank and drank until his sides ached. Before the day was out, he had drunk the whole cellar dry.
Simpleton asked for the princess again. But the king was angrier than ever that a poor boy whom everyone called Simpleton should take his daughter away. So he made another demand:
“You must find a man who can eat an entire mountain of bread.”
“That wasn’t the bargain!”
“Simpleton deserves better.”
“Doesn’t anyone believe in love any more?”
Simpleton wasted no time and went back to the forest.
“To the forest!”
“To the forest!”
“To the forest!”
“To the forest!”
“To the forest!”
There, in the very same place, sat a man tightening a belt around his belly and saying:
“I’ve eaten a whole ovenful of dry breadcrumbs, but it’s no use when you’re this hungry. My stomach is still empty, and it feels as though it will never be full.”
“Come with me! You’ll have all you can eat!”
He took him to the king’s palace. The king had ordered all the flour in the kingdom to be gathered and an enormous heap of bread to be baked.
But the man from the forest stood before it, began to eat, and in a single day, the whole mountain disappeared.
For the third time, Simpleton asked for the young woman’s hand. But the king still looked for one last way out:
“I want one last thing. Find a ship that can sail on land and sea. As you know, they’re quite common... When you come sailing in it, you shall have my blessing.”
“What?! There’s no such ship!”
“So Simpleton won’t get his fairy-tale ending after all.”
“I think I saw one of those ships once...”
They went straight to the forest, and there was the little grey-haired man, the one he had shared his food with. The little old man said:
“I helped you because you showed me kindness. And I shall help you again, so you may be as grateful to me as I am to you.”
And he gave him a ship that could travel over land and water.
When the king saw it, he could refuse no longer, and the wedding was held. All Simpleton’s followers came. They had long since come unstuck from the goose, but they wanted to see how his adventures would end.
When the king died, Simpleton inherited the kingdom and lived happily for many years with his wife, whom he always made laugh.
And that is all... for the moment.
Til the next tale.